Any job hunt is stressful for the whole family. Your
worries slip into your life at home unintentionally. The time you spend
out at interviews and networking, or at home on the computer doing research,
takes away from things you would like to be doing with your family. The guilt
can be palpable.
Now picture this as a single parent.
The loss of a job holds extra weight for the single parent.
You are the sole bearer of the burden. There is no other bread-winner to fall
back on; no one else to watch the family, cook dinner, check homework, or go to
your child’s events while you put time into the hunt. Finances you may have
saved for the future are depleted as you dedicate hours to the search, or in my
case, work to build a business of your own.
My advice to other single heads of household is to find ways
to keep your health, your attitude and your energy up. Avoid these pitfalls:
- Self-pity:
It is an easy go-to but non-productive and even harmful.
- Isolating
yourself: It can feel like you need to keep you nose to the grindstone
24/7 but this actually becomes the law of diminishing returns as you
eventually burn out.
- Sticking
to the same routine: Nothing is more soul sucking that repeating the
same day over and over again. Shake up your routine, even if it is
something as simple as packing up your computer and working for a while at
a coffee shop or library.
Here are some self-affirming tips to keep you positive and
feeling less alone:
- If
time permits, take a one or two-day a week job to get out there and
be with people. You may end up meeting someone who is a lead to your
dream position. The INDEED even website has a category for Single Parent
Jobs: http://www.indeed.com/q-Single-Parent-jobs.html
- Try
something new. I was an election judge for the first time this year.
The income was nice and it got me out of own mind and on to something much
bigger for a day.
- Don’t
shun the holiday get-togethers just because you are low on funds. The
friends you have known and been a part of still care for and support you
whether you are employed or not. And, there are tons of low- and no-costs
things you can do together.
- Most
of all, do not forget the kids. No matter what age, they are
vulnerable, they feel your pain, and they are going through this with you.
Find time to talk and to play. You will come back to your job search
refreshed and ready to face another day.
One final thought: When you are working from your
desk at home, don't do it in your tee-shirt and old jeans. It may seem like a
bonus that you don’t need to dress up for the office, but it accentuates the
position you are in. Putting on a decent shirt and making sure your hair looks
good at home goes a long way to bolstering your self-esteem.
Remember, you do have a job right now - it is finding the
new career that will let you shine.
FYI: I am launching a new blog in light of the
recent elections. The road can be difficult for those of us who are single
parent households, and the upcoming years may bring us additional challenges. I
believe there are many, many misconceptions swirling around about the life of a
single parent. I hope others who are doing it on their own will appreciate this
blog as a place to share and learn from other solo parents who are doing their
best to raise healthy and happy families. For those who are not single parents,
I sincerely wish you will read it to learn more about us and join in an open,
positive dialogue. I will post a link when my new blog is up. Please check
it out.
