My Hopes for Everyone Who Journeys Into 2017

- by Susan Vagnoni Murphy

I hope…

You bring with you into the New Year your lessons and not the difficulties that created them

You help and not hurt your fellow humans and the beautiful animals that share our planet

You are not hurt

You find something each day that gives you back the sense of wonder you were born with

You understand that you do not know what others are going through

You seek out opportunities to learn something new and amazing

You walk with gratitude

You are able to share the unique and special gifts you have been given

                                                                                                Happy New Year Everyone!

Job Search – Party of One by Susan Vagnoni Murphy

Any job hunt is stressful for the whole family. Your worries slip into your life at home unintentionally. The time you spend out at interviews and networking, or at home on the computer doing research, takes away from things you would like to be doing with your family. The guilt can be palpable.

Now picture this as a single parent. 

The loss of a job holds extra weight for the single parent. You are the sole bearer of the burden. There is no other bread-winner to fall back on; no one else to watch the family, cook dinner, check homework, or go to your child’s events while you put time into the hunt. Finances you may have saved for the future are depleted as you dedicate hours to the search, or in my case, work to build a business of your own.

My advice to other single heads of household is to find ways to keep your health, your attitude and your energy up. Avoid these pitfalls:

• Self-pity: It is an easy go-to but non-productive and even harmful.
• Isolating yourself: It can feel like you need to keep you nose to the grindstone 24/7 but this actually becomes the law of diminishing returns as you eventually burn out.
• Sticking to the same routine: Nothing is more soul sucking that repeating the same day over and over again. Shake up your routine, even if it is something as simple as packing up your computer and working for a while at a coffee shop or library.

Here are some self-affirming tips to keep you positive and feeling less alone:

• If time permits, take a one or two-day a week job to get out there and be with people. You may end up meeting someone who is a lead to your dream position. The INDEED even website has a category for Single Parent Jobs: http://www.indeed.com/q-Single-Parent-jobs.html
• Try something new. I was an election judge for the first time this year. The income was nice and it got me out of own mind and on to something much bigger for a day.
• Don’t shun the holiday get-togethers just because you are low on funds. The friends you have known and been a part of still care for and support you whether you are employed or not. And, there are tons of low- and no-costs things you can do together.
• Most of all, do not forget the kids. No matter what age, they are vulnerable, they feel your pain, and they are going through this with you. Find time to talk and to play. You will come back to your job search refreshed and ready to face another day.

One final thought: When you are working from your desk at home, don't do it in your tee-shirt and old jeans. It may seem like a bonus that you don’t need to dress up for the office, but it accentuates the position you are in. Putting on a decent shirt and making sure your hair looks good at home goes a long way to bolstering your self-esteem. 

Remember, you do have a job right now - it is finding the new career that will let you shine.

FYI: I am launching a new blog in light of the recent elections. The road can be difficult for those of us who are single parent households, and the upcoming years may bring us additional challenges. I believe there are many, many misconceptions swirling around about the life of a single parent. I hope others who are doing it on their own will appreciate this blog as a place to share and learn from other solo parents who are doing their best to raise healthy and happy families. For those who are not single parents, I sincerely wish you will read it to learn more about us and join in an open, positive dialogue. I will post a link when my new blog is up. Please check it out.

Scrapping to Earn Your Spot by Susan Vagnoni Murphy

So many of us grew up seeing images and hearing tales of a continuous rise from childhood, to stellar school days, to  an ivy league college, to career, family, kids, a house, vacations and a great retirement.  Does this sound like you?  It sure isn’t my reality.

And I am not complaining.

I worked hard as the first one in my family to go to a 4 year state university.  I did shine there, but it wasn’t Stanford or Yale.  I came from working class parents who did not tell me I could be anything I wanted to be. They told me if I work hard enough and am a good person I will have a good life. I was married and once had a house. I now live as a single mom raising my two sons in a small apartment.  So far, this doesn’t sound like the tale the movies tell us about how life should go.

I may not be the example of the person on the ramp to continuous success, but I do know what I am…I am a scrapper. I work my tail off to keep moving ahead, and to gain knowledge and experience while taking care of the people I love.

Scrappers take their inspiration to grow from what is around them: From friends who mention a class they heard about; and you give it a try.  From the parish priest who says life does not promise security; and you accept that and move forward.  From the business connections who give you great ideas and resources; and you actually follow up on them. And from your own grit, having the courage to go after the opportunity that has arisen from the struggle.

I recently saw an inspirational TED Talk by Regina Hartley called “Why the best hire might not have the perfect resume.” In this talk she does a great job explaining how the scrapper has not had all the advantages, but through their own determination manages to have the right stuff for the job. Their story should not be dismissed for the “perfect resume.”

My tip this time around is for my fellow scrappers to be proud of who you are. Learn from your past but do not dwell on it. Use your special ability make "lemonade” out of whatever situations come your way. You have already proven that you have what it takes to turn adversity to advantage.

Which Way Do We Go? - By Susan Vagnoni Murphy

If Dorothy hadn’t walked the Yellow Brick Road or gone into the scary forest she would not have met the Scarecrow, Tinman or the Lion…and maybe she never finds Oz?

It has been a year of seeking my path since the day I learned my job was eliminated. I began this blog to share what I hope are helpful insights to those who are also making the trip to new and better employment.

                Do I have a new, full job?  Technically, no.

                Do I have more fulfilling work? A resounding yes!

A bit like Dorothy Gayle from Kansas, I found myself following a direction to a very unexpected place. My travels took me through:

• numerous applications
• diverse interviews
• countless skills workshops
• refined resumes and personal brand
• reconnections with prior colleagues
• new empowering associations
• a mini-MBA
• a wiser me

Where I did not end up was at that life-changing job that unites all my strengths and my passions. No, I haven’t given up on that, I just listened to my heart and followed a different path for now.  I have found my soul healing spot through independent consulting for other independent entrepreneurs. I saw a gap in the support they needed and I am using my business and creative talents to give their businesses a lift. My clients inspire me every day and I am learning and growing with each new connection I make.

So what is my job tip this month?  #13: Follow the voice inside even if the path seems a bit scary and the final destination is not as chiseled in stone as you planned. I kept looking in one direction when all the signs were pointing a different way. When I gave in to the signs I experienced calmness in myself that I hadn’t felt in a long time – even at my old job.

Trust in your internal compass and see where the path takes you.

Sending you serene optimism, Susan

Hello? Hello? – by Susan Vagnoni Murphy

In a comment received on my last blog Remaining Flexible in the Hunt I was asked: “Is silence the new black? What's a girl to make of it when a job prospect or contact goes silent after a promising connection?”

The comment echoed stories of fellow job seekers and my personal experience. Example: an interview that felt very encouraging to me ended with, “We will call you by the end of next week.” Then…silence. I waited till the beginning of the week after to write a upbeat email asking where they were in their selection process. Silence. I waited again to send one more email inquiring if the position had been filled.  You guessed it…silence.

An article* from Forbes quoted a 2013 CareerBuilder survey stating that among 3,991 employees, 60% said they’ve experienced this (no response) as a job candidate. The article went on to quote HR expert Steve Kane. “This should never happen at a sophisticated, progressive employer. Obviously, if someone is going through the effort of preparing for an interview, they deserve some idea of their likelihood of receiving an offer.”

My appeal to employers is this - we understand you are very busy, but any response, even a stock one, is better than nothing at all. If your comment may be a little negative, we will learn from that and prepare for our next interview.  If we are pricing ourselves out of the competition that, too, is invaluable to know. When there is no-response, we feel diminished.  The job search journey is hard enough without at least being acknowledged when you make it as far as the interview process.

I also admit we applicants need to be thick-skinned in our employment hunt.  It can be a brutal process and your self-esteem takes hit. My tip this month is to give you tools to keep you on top of your response to the response process.  Google offers Boomerang, a free, downloadable addendum to Gmail that will remind you when to send follow-ups to perspective employers. Boomerang lets you to set a time limit, say a week, and will return your email to you as a reminder if you do not get a response in that period.

For the part where you just need to feel better and move on with dignity, I suggest signing on to receive daily or weekly messages from Mike Dooley at TUT. His Notes from the Universe have given me a surprising lift just when I needed it.  Of course a visit with a good friend or family member can also do wonders.

Yours in responsiveness, Susan

*http://www.forbes.com/sites/jacquelynsmith/2014/02/12/10-things-to-do-when-you-dont-hear-back-after-a-job-interview/#6b4158b9bd48

https://www.flickr.com/photos/raftwetjewell/

Remaining Flexible in the Hunt – by Susan Vagnoni Murphy

I have started this particular blog multiple times and then got too busy to finish.  When I started again my focus seemed to change and each time I picked it up I found myself running into a time crunch. I am really busy! That is when I realized what the blog had to be about.

 

So, I hoped to be telling you all about the fabulous, full-time position that had snapped me up but, alas, that is not the story.  Not being part of an organization can be frustrating, unnerving and at times pretty lonely.  I realized I had to change my priorities for the time being. While continuing to pursue a new job I decided to return to my consulting roots.  I began by running job readiness trainings as were available, but now I am independently helping other very busy entrepreneurs get their work done. Most of the services I provide center around writing, marketing, research, networking and social media.  They utilize my core skill base and my personal interests.

The irony is that the very thing that has made me face difficulties in finding work has also provided work that I am enjoying. Having been in the work world a while can make some HR departments feel they can’t afford you, or can’t mold you to what they need, or that they don’t think you will be comfortable with a younger supervisor.  All of which is erroneous, but it is out there.

 

So my job tip # 11 is: Remember to be flexible in your job seeking journey.  As it was when you started working years ago, you knew you had to prove your worth and learn as you went along; that has not changed.  What has changed is that you bring with you an amazing toolbox full of proven skills and developed knowledge that can allow you to carve your own path for a while. Enjoy this time while meeting new people and continuing to practice your craft. If we stay nimble, stay flexible and stay positive I believe the meaningful next step will come along.

Yours in motion, Susan 

Knowledge is Hope by Susan Vagnoni Murphy

Blog Tip #10: Know What You Are Up Against

February is month 8 of my job search. I have been successful in finding contract and part time work, but am still on the hunt for the full time employment that will support my sons and me.  Surprisingly, I am optimistic. Due to a concerted effort, my skills and knowledge are growing each day and that gives me hope and a sense of self-worth.

What tends to drive us towards depression or self-defeat is the unknown.  Fear of the unknown takes its toll by robbing us of our confidence. The best way I have found to fight back, especially in a search that has been going for a while, is to arm myself with knowledge from two directions:

1. Outwardly: What should I understand about the success rates in the applications I send? 

  2.  Inwardly: What should I be doing right now to make myself the best candidate as opportunities arise? 

To help with number one I have taken advantage of a number of classes and some of the best have been through the Dislocated Workers Program.  One recent workshop discussed the likelihood of getting a job, or even an interview, when the application goes through an ATS or Applicant Tracking System. Most of the ‘fill in the blank’ forms you encounter online go through this type of sorting program.  It looks for key words, and when they are not found in the version of your resume or cover letter that you are allowed to provide, your application is rejected. The Hiring Manager will never see what great things you have to offer. 

Some facts on the ATS:

•          They exist to make the recruiter, not the applicant’s life easier
•          They are often not formatted correctly for the job or the resumes being submitted
•          They  kill 75 percent of candidates' chances of landing an interview as soon as they submit their resume

One quick takeaway is to be very selective on whether you spend your time applying for a job where an ATS form is the access point. It may rule out some jobs you were considering applying for, but perhaps your time would be better spent on a more accessible application, for example: Send a resume and cover letter to Bill@thisjob.com.  You get the idea. A human may actually be the first person to see your qualifications and the amazing cover letter you worked on so diligently.

If you really want to apply for a job using this software, here is a good article on CIO with some great ideas to try to beat the ATS: http://www.cio.com/article/2398753/careers-staffing/5-insider-secrets-for-beating-applicant-tracking-systems.html.

Next blog I will discuss number two above on how you can arm yourself inwardly.  Till then, I am really pulling for you, Susan

Writing the Script for 2016 by Susan Vagnoni Murphy

If you are a living, breathing human being you may have tried that old, tired path of New Year’s resolutions. It never worked very well for me because there was no foundation to make it happen.  So this year I have set in motion what will be a more thoughtful and productive path to an excellent 2016 in both my job search and my home life.

 Job Tip #9 – Not only embrace the blank page of 2016…write it!

My journey to writing 2016 started with accepting an invitation from a colleague named Hanna Cooper who is a talented Executive/Leadership Coach. Hanna generously offered a mini-end-of-year web retreat to create a plan for 2016.  Having ended my 2015 with no full time work, I felt this was a great opportunity to organize myself for the year to come.

Hanna’s retreat had several valuable steps, but I will recount 3 activities that helped me the most:

• 1       Writing down my accomplishments in 2015

• 2       Writing down my failures in 2016 (why did this one seem so much easier)

• 3       Writing down the lessons I learned from BOTH the accomplishments and the failures

This process allowed me to put on paper what had been swirling in my head and clogging my productivity, and list out how I had grown and became a wiser me from all of those experiences.

The freeing step Hanna gave next was to tear up the pages on the accomplishments and the failures. With that action they became a thing of the past. The accomplishments would always be with me and I could let go of the disappointments. Best of all, I was armed with the valuable lessons to more forward, unencumbered, into 2016. (There was much more to the retreat and I encourage you to contact Hanna at the link above for any of her very helpful services, or listen to the recording of the mini-retreat here).

For me, I have started my 2016 by getting a couple contract assignments that bring me joy and are in my passion areas. Yes, I am still in the hunt for that special job that is out there for me, but in the meantime, all the processes I put in motion are coming to fruition with a more positive person at the helm.  I am writing and visualizing what I want to see for my sons and me in 2016. 

I hope you too will take the time to reflect, remove the negative, and renew the positive lessons as you jump into a better life in 2016. If you have a moment, please comment and let me know what you have done to prepare for 2016, or where you are in your job search. 

In your corner as always, Susan