Why Are You Hiding? - by Susan Vagnoni Murphy

“Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase – just take the first step.” Martin Luther King, Jr

When you are doing the tough stuff – and by tough stuff I mean job hunting or running your own business - there seems to be so little time to get out and make new connections or develop new skills. It is far easier to keep your head down, close the office door and just work.

So my question to you is, “Why are you hiding?” If the answer is, “I get more done this way,” we need to talk.

There is an isolation that seeps in while seeking work, as well as with having work. We are so focused on the task at hand we miss out on what comes next, or what we never knew was out there. I see it in myself when I am working on a project for a client. My calendar pops up and there is that networking event scheduled for the next day. It would be much simpler to skip the event and just keep working on the task. The project isn’t due tomorrow, mind you, but if I go I have to get dressed up and talk to a bunch of people and be…present. Seems like a lot of work when I can just stay comfortably here in front of my computer. It doesn’t care if my shoes aren’t shined or my hair isn’t perfect.

What’s wrong with this picture? First of all I am making a lot of assumptions. I assume I will not get much out of the event. I assume people will judge me. I assume I will get great work done if I go nonstop without time for my brain to rest and change gears. The list goes on and on.

So why is it a good practice to put down the cell phone, put the cap on the pen, and log off the laptop?

1. Taking breaks makes you more productive and circumvents burnout.

An article in the Harvard Business Review discusses “our limited capacity for concentrating over extended time periods.” Being a go-getter is great as long as you take a break from it, otherwise you are on track to derail your progress. Sleep researchers have found that the optimum work block is only 90 minutes long. The article goes on to say, “that sporadic breaks replenish our energy, improve self-control and decision-making, and fuel productivity.” So, boost your efficiency by scheduling in that workshop you hesitated to make time for, or attend the mastermind cohort you have been meaning to join (or simply take a walk with a co-worker).

2. Your best thinking happens in both the focused and diffuse modes. 

When you remain endlessly on your computer or concentrating on that document, you are focused on a task (focused thinking). The longer you stick with it you can become bored, confused, or simply stuck in the same idea rut. Authors refer to this as writers block. When you set that work aside for a while you allow your brain to problem solve without you, and you are open to new perspectives that have been blocked by your concentrated efforts. You are distracted, and at the same time you see more of the big picture (diffuse mode of thinking).

3. Being face-to-face with other people gives you a number of bonuses.

Allowing a little more ‘human time’ can:

• Build your confidence
• Develop new business connections
• Share common challenges
• Increase your circle of influence
• Create new communities of support
• Uncover new resources and events

And more often than not, you will benefit by just finding someone to laugh with. 

Putting yourself out there can take some effort, but the rewards are worth it. You and your brain need some company. So let go of the guilt that can come with taking time for something new. See you out there!



Make Yourself Noticeable - by Susan Vagnoni Murphy

I write marketing content for a living, yet I know that the image next to the written word is the first thing to capture the eye and mind. According to a 2014 study at MIT, the human brain can process entire images in as little as 13 milliseconds.  In a 2016 article posted in Psychology & Business it states that the human brain processes images 60,000 times faster than text, and 90 percent of information transmitted to the brain is visual.  So, you can see, written text doesn’t stand a chance against imagery when it comes to first impressions.

I was thinking about these statistics when I went to a photo session last week with professional photographer, Laine Torres. I wanted new headshots taken for my developing business and was worried I wouldn’t get photos that really represented me. Like many people, I would rather clean the kitchen sink than stand in front of bright lights and a camera lens. 

Fortunately, Laine made the whole shoot so positive that I wanted to share with you what I observed that day as best practices to look for in a photographer so you get the optimum business headshot. Here is what stood out from my experience:

1. There was a professional make-up artist available (in my case Meg Hume) to help me look my best. The way you make up your face for photographic lighting is not the same as you would for a day at the office; (and yes gentlemen, you could use a touch up, too, when it comes to headshots).
2. The environment was comfortable and put me at ease.  There was music playing and water to drink. Sounds like small things, but in a nervous situation like being photographed you will look more natural in your photos when you are not tense and stressing out.
3. They offered expert advice on wardrobe and accessories. I brought a few options with me and Laine helped me put together combinations that worked best for the shoot. I heard from others getting their shots that day that they had phone consultations to prepare their clothing. I also received an email ahead of the shoot with instructions on what types of items to bring and what to avoid.
4. The photographer knew how to convey the best ways to pose to get the lighting and angles right.  If the person taking your photos cannot give good direction in a positive manner you will look stiff and unnatural.
5. The photos were available for immediate review after the shoot and I was given ample time to ask questions and make informed selections.

I would encourage you to invest in professional headshots whether you are a job seeker needing an amazing photo for your LinkedIn profile, or an entrepreneur looking to update your website. That initial image of you is the first impression that could help keep a potential client or employer around long enough to learn more about what makes you the person they are looking for.

The Mentor Effect by Susan Vagnoni Murphy

When the job search (or in my situation, developing a new business) has gone on for a while and you reach a plateau, it can hit you like a ton of bricks. The self-doubt and negative inner talk starts to creep in. Much like reaching a diet plateau you see your business image as out of shape and not very attractive to others.

This is not the time to hunker down, shave your head and join a monastery. This is the time to call in the cavalry.

You need a mentor.

That person can be:

• A colleague in your field
• A advisor from a program like SCORE
• A former or current teacher
• A past employer
• A networking connection
• A wise friend

I have been going through a particularly tough run of weeks. The money coming is insufficient, the demands on my time are totally insane, and my confidence is seriously waning. During this same time, my mid-point check in with Jeff, my mentor from WomenVenture, was scheduled. I dreaded the meeting, even though I know Jeff to be a great guy and an experienced mentor. I thought, “Oh no. Now all the terrible things I have been telling myself will be stated out loud!”

Guess what? I am not at all what I thought I was. Jeff was able to not only understand my situation, but offered concrete steps to move forward with renewed confidence. He did so in a way that illuminated the positive things I had accomplished. I am very grateful for that.

My business spirit was further lifted by a lunch meeting with Jen, a friend and entrepreneur who is building a business very similar to mine, but is farther along on that path. Her words of wisdom held the revelation that my situation has actually happened before. Who would have thought it?

So when the going got tough, I doubled up on mentors. The effect was a much needed transformation in how I value my talents and my purpose.

Pursuing your dream of meaningful work is a lonely business, but we don’t have to be in it alone. An impartial and experienced perspective may be just what you need right now. Not the kind that comes from your mother who loves you no matter what - but the kind that comes from knowledge imparted by someone who has been where you are.

My March tip: Find a good mentor and do not be afraid to call on them as needed.

My Hopes for Everyone Who Journeys Into 2017

- by Susan Vagnoni Murphy

I hope…

You bring with you into the New Year your lessons and not the difficulties that created them

You help and not hurt your fellow humans and the beautiful animals that share our planet

You are not hurt

You find something each day that gives you back the sense of wonder you were born with

You understand that you do not know what others are going through

You seek out opportunities to learn something new and amazing

You walk with gratitude

You are able to share the unique and special gifts you have been given

                                                                                                Happy New Year Everyone!

Job Search – Party of One by Susan Vagnoni Murphy

Any job hunt is stressful for the whole family. Your worries slip into your life at home unintentionally. The time you spend out at interviews and networking, or at home on the computer doing research, takes away from things you would like to be doing with your family. The guilt can be palpable.

Now picture this as a single parent. 

The loss of a job holds extra weight for the single parent. You are the sole bearer of the burden. There is no other bread-winner to fall back on; no one else to watch the family, cook dinner, check homework, or go to your child’s events while you put time into the hunt. Finances you may have saved for the future are depleted as you dedicate hours to the search, or in my case, work to build a business of your own.

My advice to other single heads of household is to find ways to keep your health, your attitude and your energy up. Avoid these pitfalls:

• Self-pity: It is an easy go-to but non-productive and even harmful.
• Isolating yourself: It can feel like you need to keep you nose to the grindstone 24/7 but this actually becomes the law of diminishing returns as you eventually burn out.
• Sticking to the same routine: Nothing is more soul sucking that repeating the same day over and over again. Shake up your routine, even if it is something as simple as packing up your computer and working for a while at a coffee shop or library.

Here are some self-affirming tips to keep you positive and feeling less alone:

• If time permits, take a one or two-day a week job to get out there and be with people. You may end up meeting someone who is a lead to your dream position. The INDEED even website has a category for Single Parent Jobs: http://www.indeed.com/q-Single-Parent-jobs.html
• Try something new. I was an election judge for the first time this year. The income was nice and it got me out of own mind and on to something much bigger for a day.
• Don’t shun the holiday get-togethers just because you are low on funds. The friends you have known and been a part of still care for and support you whether you are employed or not. And, there are tons of low- and no-costs things you can do together.
• Most of all, do not forget the kids. No matter what age, they are vulnerable, they feel your pain, and they are going through this with you. Find time to talk and to play. You will come back to your job search refreshed and ready to face another day.

One final thought: When you are working from your desk at home, don't do it in your tee-shirt and old jeans. It may seem like a bonus that you don’t need to dress up for the office, but it accentuates the position you are in. Putting on a decent shirt and making sure your hair looks good at home goes a long way to bolstering your self-esteem. 

Remember, you do have a job right now - it is finding the new career that will let you shine.

FYI: I am launching a new blog in light of the recent elections. The road can be difficult for those of us who are single parent households, and the upcoming years may bring us additional challenges. I believe there are many, many misconceptions swirling around about the life of a single parent. I hope others who are doing it on their own will appreciate this blog as a place to share and learn from other solo parents who are doing their best to raise healthy and happy families. For those who are not single parents, I sincerely wish you will read it to learn more about us and join in an open, positive dialogue. I will post a link when my new blog is up. Please check it out.

Scrapping to Earn Your Spot by Susan Vagnoni Murphy

So many of us grew up seeing images and hearing tales of a continuous rise from childhood, to stellar school days, to  an ivy league college, to career, family, kids, a house, vacations and a great retirement.  Does this sound like you?  It sure isn’t my reality.

And I am not complaining.

I worked hard as the first one in my family to go to a 4 year state university.  I did shine there, but it wasn’t Stanford or Yale.  I came from working class parents who did not tell me I could be anything I wanted to be. They told me if I work hard enough and am a good person I will have a good life. I was married and once had a house. I now live as a single mom raising my two sons in a small apartment.  So far, this doesn’t sound like the tale the movies tell us about how life should go.

I may not be the example of the person on the ramp to continuous success, but I do know what I am…I am a scrapper. I work my tail off to keep moving ahead, and to gain knowledge and experience while taking care of the people I love.

Scrappers take their inspiration to grow from what is around them: From friends who mention a class they heard about; and you give it a try.  From the parish priest who says life does not promise security; and you accept that and move forward.  From the business connections who give you great ideas and resources; and you actually follow up on them. And from your own grit, having the courage to go after the opportunity that has arisen from the struggle.

I recently saw an inspirational TED Talk by Regina Hartley called “Why the best hire might not have the perfect resume.” In this talk she does a great job explaining how the scrapper has not had all the advantages, but through their own determination manages to have the right stuff for the job. Their story should not be dismissed for the “perfect resume.”

My tip this time around is for my fellow scrappers to be proud of who you are. Learn from your past but do not dwell on it. Use your special ability make "lemonade” out of whatever situations come your way. You have already proven that you have what it takes to turn adversity to advantage.

Which Way Do We Go? - By Susan Vagnoni Murphy

If Dorothy hadn’t walked the Yellow Brick Road or gone into the scary forest she would not have met the Scarecrow, Tinman or the Lion…and maybe she never finds Oz?

It has been a year of seeking my path since the day I learned my job was eliminated. I began this blog to share what I hope are helpful insights to those who are also making the trip to new and better employment.

                Do I have a new, full job?  Technically, no.

                Do I have more fulfilling work? A resounding yes!

A bit like Dorothy Gayle from Kansas, I found myself following a direction to a very unexpected place. My travels took me through:

• numerous applications
• diverse interviews
• countless skills workshops
• refined resumes and personal brand
• reconnections with prior colleagues
• new empowering associations
• a mini-MBA
• a wiser me

Where I did not end up was at that life-changing job that unites all my strengths and my passions. No, I haven’t given up on that, I just listened to my heart and followed a different path for now.  I have found my soul healing spot through independent consulting for other independent entrepreneurs. I saw a gap in the support they needed and I am using my business and creative talents to give their businesses a lift. My clients inspire me every day and I am learning and growing with each new connection I make.

So what is my job tip this month?  #13: Follow the voice inside even if the path seems a bit scary and the final destination is not as chiseled in stone as you planned. I kept looking in one direction when all the signs were pointing a different way. When I gave in to the signs I experienced calmness in myself that I hadn’t felt in a long time – even at my old job.

Trust in your internal compass and see where the path takes you.

Sending you serene optimism, Susan